Tuesday, August 02, 2005


our friend, we'll call her Zadie, is a black woman. we hesitate -- recoil against -- using the phrase "african american" because, really, who the hell knows where anyone's ancestors came from? it seems presumptuous to assume. maybe we are wrong, but...

Zadie has issues with being black. though you wouldn't know it when you first meet her. or for months after. in fact, it only came out long after she and we became friends.

it's interesting. she is married to a white guy (european american? ugh) and has two absolutely beautiful, smart, healthy mixed-breed daughters. Zadie tries to present the best multi-culti world to her girls: black angels at christmas, enrollment in a progressive charter school, dancing lessons, auntie "us"...

but there is a chip. and it's right there on Zadie's shoulder. she experienced a little meltdown a week or so ago when she pulled into a fast-food joint and saw, through the pickup window, some dork wearing a confederate flag belt buckle to hold up his polyester maroon-and-gold costume -- oops we mean uniform. she refused the order she was about to pay for and asked for the manager -- reasonable. and told the manager how affronted she was. Zadie got an apology, had a life lesson to share with her little girls (so little to hear about this kind of harsh crap!) and found her way home .

but then, when Z and we were sharing a drink, she confessed to another big bump. she is in the midst of a lawsuit against a former employer. apparently, they passed her over for a promotion or fired her or something, and Z believes it's based on race.

we are so sorry. we love Zadie and like we said, we believe that who the hell knows where anyone comes from. we are all the same. so why does this bother us about our friend?? the two incidents she shared with us are INDEED annoying, wrong, and worth bitching about out loud. what is our problem?


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